I think as a young girl and as a woman, like many others, I received messages about being demure, not speaking too loud, and the importance of putting others first. I learned practicality and settling on what is realistically obtainable rather than stretching myself and reaching for my dreams. It's not one thing or person in particular that created my fears and shame. Rather a combination of life experiences, cultural messages, and my own desire to please everyone. BTW, If you want a good book on shame and living life whole heartedly, make sure to read Brene Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection. It is totally worth it.
As a newish mom, I am realizing that it is more important than ever to be true to who I am. To not apologize for my truth. To not apologize that I need time for me to lose myself in the creative process. If I don't have that, then I am only half a person. Half living. Half loving. And I want to live out loud people. I want to stretch myself and keep growing, as an artist, as a mother, as a wife, and as a woman.
That is not to say I shirk my responsibilities for taking care of me and mine. But, I have learned over the last few years how to prioritize. How to do a whole lot of creating in a short amount of time. How to capture fleeting moments and draw on them when I have studio time. In ways, it has made me more productive, more intuitive, and more stimulated.
So my last post was a declaration that I am not afraid to speak my truth anymore. (I find it useful to shout it out every once in a while.) To shout out that I will not apologize for being me and taking care of my need to create.
How do you take care of yourself? How do you make sure that not only is there a little left over for you but that you live out loud? Otherwise, how can we love the others in our lives fully?
So don't apologize anymore. My advice to you, make some time for yourself to nurture your passions and live out loud. I swear it is worth it.